Burnout Prevention Pt 2: Fill Up
“Burnout is less a result of being too busy, and more centred around doing things that constantly drain you.”
We Can’t Say No…
“I wanted to be a good, loving Christian no matter the cost. And I mistakenly believed that good, loving Christians were people characterized by five things: they never said no, they had an active social calendar, they juggled many things without complaining, they got things done, and they put others’ needs before their own.”
Geri Scazzero, Article: Quit Dying to the Wrong Things
Honestly, you should stop reading right here and click the link above to read Geri’s article.
OK, welcome back!
Here’s the next strategy to check out for burnout prevention:
Don’t Just Take a Break
Breaks are good! They are needed. A break can be an opportunity to refresh and reset. To stop, rest, delight, and worship.
But if you return from a break – whether it’s a Sabbath day, a vacation, or a sabbatical – to the same stressful, soul-crushing, life-draining things you took a break from, you end up back at the same place. And sometimes worse off than before.
The problem isn’t (necessarily) “busy.” Although if having an overfull schedule is soul-crushing to you, then that may be a part of it. When our days and weeks are “more centred around the things that constantly drain” us, it only makes sense that we will be running on empty. And that is a recipe for burnout.
Perhaps all of our yeses are feeding worldly drives for a polished image, selfish ambition, productivity, and pride? What if our resistance to say no to what we actually want to say no to is not a Spirit-led action but a fear-filled action (What will they think?! I’ll miss my opportunity. I’ll lose my funding…).
Yes, we need to die to self: the self that seeks to do more, be more, have more, be able to brag about our accomplishments, be known, be sought after, be seen as good, spiritual, or important.
We are not called, however, to deny the gifts that feed our souls, make us break out in spontaneous worship, lift our eyes up, make us laugh, enable us to serve joyfully!
What came to mind for you as you read that last paragraph? I pictured hikes in the woods, mountaintop views, delicious homemade food, nights under twinkling lights with friends that make me feel seen and heard, board games with my family, tickles and cuddles with my little girl… and so much more!
When I’ve been dying to the wrong things, I begin to feel trapped by my commitments, resenting my responsibilities or the people that are asking anything of me. I can even begin to see people as objects – “its” that are in my way or draining me. My soul is shrivelled and I’m wondering, “Where is the abundant life Jesus promised?”
“Quit dying to those things that bring you life and receive the many gifts God has provided for you that nurture and delight your soul.” – Geri Scazzero
Examine Yourself
Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Do you not realize that Christ Jesus is in you—unless, of course, you fail the test?
2 Corinthians 13:5
We must examine our yeses and noes and discern whether or not we are dying to some of God’s great gifts that fill us up for any other reason than obedience in faith.
In our work, we often see from the inside that for those in ministry, cross-cultural missions, and aid work, there is an often unspoken sense that they cannot stop, they cannot rest, they cannot say no. Because if they stop, things might fall apart, peoples’ needs will go unmet, opportunities will be missed.
“Jesus is Lord—we are not... If this remains true, we are freed from any kind of messiah complex that maintains that we must do something about everything. If Jesus said no, so can we.”
– AJ Swoboda, Subversive Sabbath
Tool: Life-Giving & Life-Draining Reflection
This is a practice that I personally do monthly. I came across this reflection tool through various resources, but developed my own with specific categories that I found most helpful.
To do a life-giving and life-draining inventory, you only need a piece of paper and something to write with. This is the way I do it: I split a page in half, with one side labeled ‘life-giving’ and the other side labeled ‘life-draining.’ I then write three categories on each side of the page: people, activities, environments. Then I begin to brain dump everything I can think of about the period I am reflecting on.
After I have written down everything I can think of, I prayerfully ask the Holy Spirit to reveal wisdom to me as I reflect further. Are there people I need to reduce extended time with because they are draining and I do not have capacity for them during this season? Are there people that I need to spend more time with because they build me up? What activities are giving or draining, and why? What am I being invited to let go of for now? What am I being invited to do less or more? What environments are most life-giving? How can I make more life-giving environments when I am with draining people or doing draining activities? How can I add more of what is life-giving into my environment? And so forth…
Tool: Daily Examen
There are a number of ways to do the practice of examen. It is a prayerful daily reflection, developed by St Ignatius of Loyola, and has been practiced by different church traditions since. Ignatius had five steps for this prayerful reflection:
Give thanks
Ask for the Spirit
Review and recognise failures
Ask for forgiveness and healing
Pray about the next day
You can find so many resources for doing the daily examen, or some kind of an evening reflection. I use a planner that has a built-in reflection for the end of each day, identifying highlights, when I was at my best, where I felt unrest, and ways to improve for the next day. Whatever you use, let the Holy Spirit speak to you through your reflection, to guide you into all truth.
However you choose to identify what is constantly draining you, Jesus is inviting you to take on his easy yoke, to walk in step with him. That doesn’t mean we don’t do any hard things, but we make our choices prayerfully and thoughtfully. When we have awareness and discernment on what will cause us to move closer to a state of burnout, we can avoid those things appropriately, knowing that Jesus doesn’t call us to a busy life, but an abundant one.
But Martha was distracted by her many tasks; so she came to him and asked, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself? Tell her then to help me.” But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things; there is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken away from her.” Lk 10:40–42.