Pursuing Story
Have you ever experienced telling your story to someone who is listening attentively and compassionately? It is a rare experience in our world. Yet it is apparently one of the most powerful experiences we can have.
Story, and just how important it is for us to tell our own and hear others’, seems to be the recurring theme for us for years. In 2016, we had this wild dream to do a podcast that was devoted to hearing peoples’ stories. It never materialized in the midst of moving to the UK and establishing life there. But no matter where we’ve gone, we have become listening conduits for people to feel empathetically heard. And we are ones who have experienced how powerful it is to receive an undivided, empathetic ear.
I remember one of the first times someone listened with undivided attention to my story. My new acquaintance seemed enraptured, and her comments and questions only served to dig deeper into my story as she listened with genuine curiosity. She became one of my best friends, as we continued to regularly listen to each other attentively and learn about each other with openness.
Dr. Daniel Siegel “…said that an important part of how people change – not just their experiences, but also their brains – is through the process of telling their stories to an empathic listener. When a person tells her story and is truly heard and understood, both she and the listener undergo actual changes in their brain circuitry. They feel a greater sense of emotional and relational connection, decreased anxiety, and greater awareness of and compassion for others’ suffering.” (Curt Thompson, Anatomy of the Soul)
Two Ways We’re Pursuing Story
We are in the middle of filming our story for a documentary. It will be just a small part of our story about how we have ended up where we are and as pastors to missionaries. While it isn’t the same as sitting down with a trusted individual, new insights have been gained, moments reflected on, and perspectives widened at just how kind our God is. We are on a journey, and we hope that it will serve as an encouragement to those who are also journeying with Jesus.
When we made the move from serving as missionaries in the UK to being stateside again early this year, we had the opportunity to have debriefing with a senior leader in Foursquare Missions. It was such a gift. During debriefing we were able to share our story – the highs and lows, the disappointments and celebrations, the surprises along the way, the gifts and the sufferings. This was a very healing part of our journey. It was so important for us to be heard.
As a major component of our new work in Member Care, we debrief missionaries. This can be during their time in the field, and on furlough, sabbatical, or return from assignment. The meat of debriefing is listening to their story. It is important for those in ministry “return and tell all” as modeled by Jesus and his disciples in Luke 9:1-2, 10.
We are participating in a rigorous training specific to debriefing this October, and we are looking forward to sharpening our skills so that we can serve our missionaries even more effectively. We want to give them the opportunity to experience “a greater sense of emotional and relational connection, decreased anxiety, and greater awareness of and compassion for others’ suffering.” (Curt Thompson, Anatomy of a Soul)
What’s Your Story?
We hope that you have opportunities to tell your story and to be a listener of stories.
With whom can you share your story? In what ways can you give others your undivided attention along with encouraging questions that help them tell their story?